Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Hilarious Bail-Out Satire



Found Here.

Don't forget to read the fine print.

8 comments:

Douglas Porter said...

There's no doubt they have made some shitty cars and minivans, but that is not the reason why they are failing. They are failing because of the double whammy of high oil prices (their SUV market disappeared overnight) and the financial crisis (people won't buy big items if they fear that their jobs could disappear). Christ, even Honda and Toyota are hurting right now. Therefore, your argument doesn't work and your satire isn't funny. It's sad.

Josh said...

Yes, Toyota and Honda are hurting, but they're not going bankrupt.

The big three suffer from a multitude of poor management decisions. They invested in vehicles noone wants to buy, they are burden by inflated product lines, the quality of their products is crap, and they buckled to the unions and paid them too much.

If all of these decisions lead to bankruptcy, then that's what needs to happen. You can't blame the high oil prices. These people are supposed to be able to predict this stuff. Toyota, Honda, VW, Hyundai, and Kia have all predicted this, and they're still running, for now.

Douglas Porter said...

I don't remember Toyota and Honda producing gas guzzlers at their centerpiece, do you? Hmmmmm, must be lucky that Japan is an Island and that they are obsessed with efficiency.. Cause they might have built a SUV, big truck economy!

"The big three suffer from a multitude of poor management decisions. They invested in vehicles noone wants to buy,"

When oil prices were high it meant people stopped buying SUVs and big trucks.

"they are burden by inflated product lines,"

I have no idea what you mean by this blurb.

"the quality of their products is crap,"

Yes, this was a problem, but only after they stopped guaranteeing their products with the customer.

"and they buckled to the unions and paid them too much."

Not at all.

Problems after they stopped profiting (AND THEY WERE PROFITING BEFORE THE DOUBLE WHAMMY):
1. High oil prices.
2. Narrowed into one profitable niche, ie minivans, SUVs and big trucks.
3. Got hit by the financial crisis.

The high wages are not the cause of the Big Three's problems, or they would not have been profiting before the double whammy.

"If all of these decisions lead to bankruptcy, then that's what needs to happen. You can't blame the high oil prices. These people are supposed to be able to predict this stuff. Toyota, Honda, VW, Hyundai, and Kia have all predicted this, and they're still running, for now."

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL>>> Car companies are some of the most short-term, short sighted companies on the planet. They make cars, Josh; they are ain't crystal ball forecasters! And no, Toyota and Honda DID NOT predict this. Their entire cultural outlook is built around building things small, because they live on a small island with a lot of people. My bloody hotel in Japan was 3 1/2 meters by 3 1/2 meters! For 50 bucks! Just enough to fit a bed! The Japanese build small efficient cars not because they predicted the oil crisis, but because of their way of looking at things. THIS MAKES THEM ESSENTIALLY THE SAME AS THE BIG THREE, BUT JAPANESE>

Josh said...

"Cause they might have built a SUV, big truck economy!"

They do build big trucks and SUVs, they just don't build as many different SUVs:

Honda has the CR-V, Pilot and Ridgeline

Toyota has the Rav4, Highlander, 4Runner, Sequoia, Tacoma and Tundra

GM has the HHR, Vue, Equinox, Torrent, Trailblazer, Outlook, Envoy, Hummer, Acadia, Enclave, Avalanche, Tahoe, Yukon, Suburban, SRX Crossover, 9-7X, Escalade, Canyon, Colorado, Sierra (1500, 2500, and 3500), Silverado

"I have no idea what you mean by this blurb."

See above.

"Yes, this was a problem, but only after they stopped guaranteeing their products with the customer."

Read this

And this

"Car companies are some of the most short-term, short sighted companies on the planet."

Companies can't afford to be short-sighted, or else they'll fail and go bankrupt, as they should. Noone can predict everything, but those who position themselves best for the future are the most likely to succeed. It takes a car company 3 years or more to take a car from concept to the sales floor. Only the best will survive in an industry that requires this much investment of time, the Big 3 are not the best.

"THIS MAKES THEM ESSENTIALLY THE SAME AS THE BIG THREE, BUT JAPANESE"

No, it makes them more efficient than the big 3. Outlining why the Japanese car companies are more efficient and successful than the big 3 doesn't help your argument that the big 3 exist. The big 3 exist only if people are willing to buy their products, and not enough are. And you'd have to be out of your mind to think that individuals in charge of any company doesn't think the price of oil is going to continue going up. Oil is a finite resource controlled by dictators, of course the price is going to rise. Its not even as if Honda and Toyota cars have the much better fuel efficiency. The difference in fuel efficiency is minimal They just make a better product. Their cars are by far more expensive than any big 3 automobile of the same class and the big 3 are still being outsold, and the big 3 are burdened by disastrous union contracts and an inflated product line (see above).

Josh said...

"The high wages are not the cause of the Big Three's problems, or they would not have been profiting before the double whammy. "

I even hear the talking heads on TV talk about how the big 3 were in trouble before this financial melt-down and the price of oil went up. Don't be ridiculous. Anyone who has shopped for car in the past 3 or 4 years know GM, Ford and Chrysler are practically giving their cars away compared to Honda and Toyota and they've been losing money doing it. Why do you think Cerberus had to bail out Chrysler a few years ago? The Big 3 has as well been shipping jobs over seas for years know in an attempt to stay competitive, while Honda and Toyota can still make money even though they were forced to build cars in america (providing americans with jobs) due to Reagan's protectionist policies.

Douglas Porter said...

"I even hear the talking heads on TV talk about how the big 3 were in trouble before this financial melt-down and the price of oil went up. Don't be ridiculous. Anyone who has shopped for car in the past 3 or 4 years know GM, Ford and Chrysler are practically giving their cars away compared to Honda and Toyota and they've been losing money doing it. Why do you think Cerberus had to bail out Chrysler a few years ago? The Big 3 has as well been shipping jobs over seas for years know in an attempt to stay competitive, while Honda and Toyota can still make money even though they were forced to build cars in america (providing americans with jobs) due to Reagan's protectionist policies."

Cerebus bought Chrysler, Josh. Get your terminology right.

Yes, and in the last three or four years there has been a dramatic increase in the price of oil preceded by all the talk about the increase in the price of oil and a possible skyrocketing of the price of oil. This talk HAD REAL ECONOMIC effect. People listened to all this talk and slowly started to buy small, efficient cars. This happened earlier in Europe, which is why GM was hurt so badly, earlier.

One of Regans great moves! Now, if Obama just had the balls to bar American companies from using slave labor abroad!

Josh said...

"Cerebus bought Chrysler, Josh. Get your terminology right."

Well, thats what you call it in the private sector when a failing company is bought. In the public sector its called a bailout.

Chrysler was bought by Daimler for $36 billion in 1998. Nine years later they sell their stake for $7.4 billion to Cerberus. Now if you consider they sold an 80% stake, this works out to be 75% drop in value of Chrysler over 9 years, without even considering inflation. This was a fire sale because they knew the company was going to go bankrupt. Cerberus thought they got a good deal for it, but, 1 year later here we are...

"Yes, and in the last three or four years there has been a dramatic increase in the price of oil preceded by all the talk about the increase in the price of oil and a possible skyrocketing of the price of oil. This talk HAD REAL ECONOMIC effect. People listened to all this talk and slowly started to buy small, efficient cars. This happened earlier in Europe, which is why GM was hurt so badly, earlier."

This is how the free market is supposed to work. Even if these changes were unpredictable, the market still needs to adjust. The companies unprepared need to go bankrupt the people who were prepared need to come in and buy up the valuable assets and this allows them to start from a stronger base to build new businesses and create new jobs that are in line with the way the market has change. Governments cannot do this, they will fail.

"One of Regans great moves! Now, if Obama just had the balls to bar American companies from using slave labor abroad!"

Yes, lets follow the lead of the North Koreans!

Douglas Porter said...

"Well, thats what you call it in the private sector when a failing company is bought. In the public sector its called a bailout."

Logically speaking, they were bought. If they were "bailed out" they would have still had the same ownership/management after the bailout. They didnt.

"Chrysler was bought by Daimler for $36 billion in 1998. Nine years later they sell their stake for $7.4 billion to Cerberus. Now if you consider they sold an 80% stake, this works out to be 75% drop in value of Chrysler over 9 years, without even considering inflation. This was a fire sale because they knew the company was going to go bankrupt. Cerberus thought they got a good deal for it, but, 1 year later here we are..."

BIG TRUCKS.

"This is how the free market is supposed to work. Even if these changes were unpredictable, the market still needs to adjust. The companies unprepared need to go bankrupt the people who were prepared need to come in and buy up the valuable assets and this allows them to start from a stronger base to build new businesses and create new jobs that are in line with the way the market has change. Governments cannot do this, they will fail.
"

I disagree with this. Jobs have to be protected. I do not believe that free markets are necessarily a good thing.

Governments can not do this? Obviously. That's why "bailouts" are only administered by the government. It is the actual company that runs the company based on those guidelines. For example, in 1979 Chrysler was loaned money to restructure. By 1983 they had paid back their loans and were posting profits.
If governments can not do this, how do you explain the success of the first loan to the auto industry? Oh yeah, that's right! You are being dishonest!